We have the tendency of living this life one day at a time hoping that we accomplish everything that we put our energy towards. The funny thing is in our distinct efforts of trying to avoid failure we really miss the important things.
A little after a year it was one of the most inspirational events that ever happened to my family. Madison actually did it again showing us what life is all about and how to smile through the iron edges of life. After several room air trials of 2 hours off oxygen and 1 hour on we found out per the Dr. that Madison is in no longer in need of anymore oxygen!
One accomplishment down!! Excitement ran ramped through our home! Not missing that loud machine that muttered and echoed through out our entire home at all hours of the day. No more running and loading the car with her oxygen tanks just to run to the store. One word will sum all the emotions and feelings up “GRATEFUL”
Whatever your little one is going through you have become strong enough to count, count the little obstacles that you will beat and at the end of your journey. You will realize that not only has your little one became stronger, you also have changed for the better!! Now grab that Superman Cape or that Wonder Woman Bracelet out your closet and put it back on underneath your garments and smile because you have made another memory to become grateful for.
Staying at home with my daughter has been challenging beyond beief. We as men are designed to be providers for our families since the beginning of time but what happens when the roles replace due to circumstances? What happens when the parents play a position that they aren’t created for?
Tension, arguing and even resentment can build within what was once a fairy tail union. What do you say to someone asks you “What do you do for a living”? Silence!!! Then you automatically blurt out the lyrics to the Chica morning show that you watch with your baby! How do you even plan your day with trying to be productive? See there is no hand book for this, only life experience! so to the new fathers dealing with these unforeseen situations I’m here to share with you my current experiences and what currently works for me. Lets touch briefly on somethings that your going to deal with that nobody is going to share with you in the NICU once you get your little one home after they past that 90 min carseat test. Thats right I said it!! 90 minutes!!
One of the biggest things that your going to deal with in being a graduate of the NICU and being home is time management, how to reach your financial obligations and how to keep your head on straight. When it comes to time management the best thing that you can do is develop a schedule that you can abide by on a daily and monthly bases depending on the condition of your preemie. Be sure to include exercise, a proper diet, time to work if your self employed, or time to brainstorm so you can come up with ideas to generate some income to the household, time for yourself will be all so important and don’t forget date night! That damn date night is the reason you got in this in the first place. So in all honesty there won’t be any conjugal dating in the near future. So you been warned!!
Here are some tips that will help you keep sane through out this process and if you have any questions about how to get through certain things feel free to contact me and I will give you my suggestions and tell you how I handled them accordingly.
#1 SLEEP WHEN THEY SLEEP– It speak for its self! Don’t try to handle things when your preemie is resting. It will only frustrate you when they wake up and you can’t get back to do what you were doing!
#2 EXERCISE AT LEAST 45 MIN DAILY– Combined with a healthy diet this will help you in the long run. Theres nothing like gaining 30 lbs in 3months because your home with the baby and your eating when they eat. Then the cycle starts. Depression creaps in slowing followed by the thoughts of where did my life go and then you start eating more to ease the pain.. Been there done that!!
#3 EAT HEALTHY– The food that you eat will affect your decision making and your agility! Your mind will play tricks on you if you keep putting junk in your body. Trust me depression is real. Been there and done that
#4 MAKE MONEY– Find ways to make money at home using your computer. There are websites out there that will help you sale things that you don’t need anymore such as Ebay and Pintrest. There also websites that allow you to sell things that you have created such as Etsy
#5 JOIN SUPPORT GROUPS– I speak to men on a monthly basis at the Dads and Diapers support group for the March of Dimes of Delaware and its refreshing to the men to see that there are other men going through the same thing.
#6 SHARE YOUR STORY– Be sure to share as much as you can but stay away from being negative. Speak about the happy moments, the love you have for your little one, the time when you first say that amazing face.
#7 TIME FOR YOURSELF– You and your lady both will need that extra time away from everything. Understand that it’s normal to want to get away! Take the necessary time that you need to do what you enjoy. But keep in mind that you will have to go back home at some point. Call a buddy and just hangout or go and become one with nature. Hey, whatever your into, do it! Time away is very important and not to be missed.
Hopefully this message in a bottle reached you and now your plugging away at making some positive strides in creating everything that you need to have your days planned out ahead for you and your little miracle. Enjoy and remember that you will always be their superman!
There are many things we can learn and apply to our lives that can learn from the little people, PREEMIES!
One day a friend of mine came by to talk and to clear is head. Apparently there were something’s troubling him and taking a toll on him. Twenty minutes later after playing with Maddie he said ” Wow, it’s amazing how this little girl keeps a smile on her face” I interrupted him and said what do you mean? He continued to say. After all she’s been through she still has the biggest smile I ever seen. I said she’s just happy to be here! After saying that I realized we as adults need to have that same profound attitude when it comes to our life! When we display the notion that we are happy to be here everything in our personal lives will change. Regardless of all the other obstacles and challenges we go through, it can change. I remember Zig Ziglar said “Change Your Attitude Change Your Life”. So today create a different vantage point and look and feel different when it comes to your life!
Sometimes the moments that you fall in love are in the seconds you look into your preemie’s eyes. Its so funny when you have a lot going on you see and realize that your prayers have been answered. Creation, WOW! Right before your eyes!
Sometimes we take our time for granted. We end up a spending majority of our time focusing on things and people that are not essential to our growth! In essence we end up forfeiting our destiny by believing things that don’t even exist. My friends, decide today to live…. Live you life like today is your last. Love like its the only moment that you have left and most of all LAUGH! LAUGHTER IS THE MEDICINE THAT YOUR SOUL NEEDS……